What do you think of this writing? Does Claire seem like a good character? Anything to change?
Claire stared into the mirror. She slowly took in her face, this wasn’t her. Carefully curled hair fell onto her shoulders; her face had been painted carefully using white, her lips full and red. She hated it. The dress was worse, the corset wrapped tightly around her waist making it difficult to breath. The gigantic hoop skirt covered by layers of heavy fabric limited her movement. Tight shoes that raised her up at least three inches pinched her feet. She had only been wearing them for about an hour; she couldn’t begin to anticipate the party.
She collapsed into the large chair that sat in the corner of her room. She savored this precious alone time, when she was able to be who she wanted. She hated her parents instructing her every word and movement. This was the very rare time that she didn’t have servants tightening her corset to the point of suffocation, or pulling unruly hair into place.
Claire gently lifted the complex jewelry box that had been previously resting on top of her dresser. Light sparkled over the jewels and gold plating that had been carefully placed to make the light dance. She pulled the lid off of the box, revealing the jewelry she had been showered with for as long as she could remember. She detested the gaudy ornaments, but she wore them because it would be easier then fighting with her parents.
Plucking a diamond necklace from the ample selection she fastened it around her neck. The diamond rested comfortable on her collar bone, the silver made her green eyes shine brighter. She had always liked her eyes, they were green with flecks of blue, and they showed her true self. At least they used to. She had spent so many years pretending to love the attention, the parties, the lavish gifts, and the prospect of being married. Her eyes which had once shown with fire and passion were now dead. They were completely disconnected.
Lydia, Claire’s mother, drummed her knuckles on Claire’s door, telling her that the guests were getting anxious and wondering where she was, this party was for her after all. It was her birthday after all. She resigned to making an appearance.
Stumbling slightly when she walked down the stairs, her hand lightly touching the ornate railing to maintain her balance, she made her appearance. There was a collective gasp from the guest as they saw her. Looking like an angelic recreation of herself, no one had seen her this beautiful before.
She was greeted immediately by a swarm of guests. They engulfed her, warmly shaking her hand, asking for a dance, trying to catch the young beauties eye. Of course it wouldn’t work. These people amazed her, if she didn’t care about it at the last party, why would they expect her to care at this one? People change, it’s true, but Claire preferred to believe that they changed for the better.
She could tell it was going to be a long night.
Thanks!
