Gold Digging Fever

Posts Tagged ‘English’

1. There once was a purple octopus named Henry.
2. Henry wished that he had a friend
3. He wished this because he had found a treasure map that led to a treasure chest of happiness.
4. One day he met an orange sea turtle named Pedro and they became best friends.
5. “Let’s go on an adventure to find the treasure chest!” Henry said.
6. “Alright but I hope that it won’t be too hard to find,” said Pedro.
7. Henry hopes taht there won’t be any scary monsters.
8. He doesn’t like monsters.
9. Pedro loves to fight monsters with his shell.
10. By the second day, they still hadn’t found any monsters
11. Pedro wanted to go on, but Henry was getting homesick.
12. “I don’t think that the treasure chest is that much farther away,” Pedro said.
13. Just then they walked around a big rock and saw a light in the distance.
14. “Maybe that’s where the treasure chest is,” Pedro said.
15. “I hope that you’re right,” said Henry, “I’m getting tired.”
16. As they got close to the city they realized that they recognized the lights.
17. It was where they lived
18. They watched as Gus and Lionel ran out to greet them.
19. “We missed you so much. Where have you been?” asked Lionel.
20. “We were hoping to find happiness in a treasure chest but the map led us back home,” Henry said.
21. “Maybe that’s because happiness comes from spending time with the people you love, not material things,” Pedro said
22. “Yeah that makes sense,” said Gus, “now that we’re back, let’s go play soccer!”

Note: I already have the answers, I want to see if you find them hard enough to present them in my Honors English I class.

17. Grendel’s mother lived in a:
A. hut
B. denunderalake
C. castle
D. reef
18. Beowulf offered Hrothgar:
A. gold
B. Hrunting
C. The giant sword
D. Grendel’s head and the remains of the giant sword
19. Hrothgar and the men believed that Beowulf was dead when:
A. blood bubbled on the lake
B. his mailcoat was found
C. a dragon appeared
D. his horn ceased
20. After slaying Grendel’s mother, Beowuif:
A. threatened to take Heorot
B. demanded treasure chests
C. returned to his native land
D. hunted other monsters
21. According to the Beowuif saga, the bodies of dead kings were:
A. sealed in a crypt
B. burned on a funeral pyre
C. sent to sea
D. frozen
22. The fire dragon was mad because:
A. a drunken warrior had pounded it with rocks a thief had stolen some treasure it guarded
C. Heardred had died
23. As Beowulf grew older, he hoped to die:
A. in battle
B. in his sleep
C. in peace
D. of old age
24. As Beowulf prepared to fight the dragon, he:
a. felt afraid for the first time
b. felt no lust for battle and seemed to sense doom
c. prayed
d. was depressed

25. Beowulf’s warriors forsook him when they saw:
A. him stumbling and choking N
B. the dragon’s fire
C. the dragon pulling Wiglaf into the water
D. his shield melt
26. The dragon was killed by:
A. Wiglaf
B. Urethaean
C. Beowuif and Wiglaf
27. Wiglaf was a perfect example of a knight because he was:
A. handsome
B. powerful
C. fearless
D. loyal and courageous
28. Beowulfs request that the Mound of Beowulf be built showed that he was:
A. Arrogant and proud
B. Generous and kind
C. Dedicated
29. The treasure:
A. was distributed among the poor
B. was buried with Beowuif’s ashes
C. remained in the fire
D. was divided evenly among Beowulf’s men

According to the theory of evolution, random genetic mutations are the driving force behind adaptation. I live next door to a nucular (or nuclear in the “correct English”) power plant. Because of this, my DNA has undergone all sorts of random mutations, so my children should be very highly evolved.

I expected my son to be born with gills so that he could breathe underwater. He and I were going to become a father-son treasure hunting team. However, this is no longer possible, as my whole family has cancer thanks to the power plant. My son wasn’t highly evolved at all.

Doesn’t the fact that my son can’t breathe underwater disprove evolution?
I don’t want to worry anybody: my family doesn’t actually have cancer…

The part about wanting a son who could breathe underwater is true though…

The bear lost his golden treasure and went on a hunt to find it

I am so like totally lost. Okay, like I was trekking through the hills near Istanbul with my hunky Norwegian boyfriend when all of the sudden I received a call from my pal from Barcelona who was stuck in an elevator in Amsterdam. He was so like totally crying and stuff cuz his English is not so good and he was SO getting thirsty well anyway we flew out to AMS immediately and convinced the taxi driver to speed to the hotel, where we grabbed an ax and beat the elevator door to release Marco safely. He looked very hot and sweat was dripping down his treasure trail like gentle mountain streams in the Cascade Mountains of Western Washington where I generally collect fresh spring blossoms for home decorations and other important stuff, well anyway we all sighed in relief and then hopped a quick 3 hour flight to Rome where we shopped for trinkets on Via Condotti and pigged out on free pastries. Where can I get a Mohawk hair do in Rome?