I am so like totally lost. Okay, like I was trekking through the hills near Istanbul with my hunky Norwegian boyfriend when all of the sudden I received a call from my pal from Barcelona who was stuck in an elevator in Amsterdam. He was so like totally crying and stuff cuz his English is not so good and he was SO getting thirsty well anyway we flew out to AMS immediately and convinced the taxi driver to speed to the hotel, where we grabbed an ax and beat the elevator door to release Marco safely. He looked very hot and sweat was dripping down his treasure trail like gentle mountain streams in the Cascade Mountains of Western Washington where I generally collect fresh spring blossoms for home decorations and other important stuff, well anyway we all sighed in relief and then hopped a quick 3 hour flight to Rome where we shopped for trinkets on Via Condotti and pigged out on free pastries. Where can I get a Mohawk hair do in Rome?