I cant stand letting a guy I’m dating get to close to me, yet I can’t stand being alone.
I need companionship. I need to know I’m loved, and taken care of… Yea, I know… In today’s world, woman are supposed to treasure our “independence”, but I cant stand it. I want to know there’s a person I can call no matter what, A person who loves me, no matter what. And I can’t stand being alone.
But…
At the same time, when I have/had that person, I couldn’t stand it. I was comfortable and I hatted that. I loved him, but I wouldn’t admit it to myself. I kept pushing him away, and eventually I seceded. I lost him. And now I’m alone. Sometimes I want him back, just for the sake of having him there, but in the next 20 minutes, I don’t.
I think I might have a mental problem… or maybe a serious fear of commitment…
Any help? Is there really something wrong with me? Or am I just not ready to settle down? And if I’m not ready to settle down, and I lose this guy for ever, am I really gonna be able to find someone who I love to settle down with when I’m ready?