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Read this piece of my story?

It seemed picture perfect to Lexi as the lights of the pool danced right along with them on the patio. She was already sketching it and painting it in her head. She’d use cool and soft colors and every small detail would be perfect and precise. Magic, she’d name it Magic for the song that was playing and the feelings she had right now dancing with Travis. “You are very far away Alexandria.” he practically purred her name in her ear before dipping her.
“Mmmm, sorry just…”
“Paint as always.” he finished for her because she couldn’t find a way to explain it. He understood though, just like he understood her snappy temperament when she bit his head off for interrupting her work this afternoon. It was a feat because he was far from a patient guy. He could be patient for her though.
She smiled and drew back slightly. “Sorry habit.”
He grinned back making her pulse jump like crazy. “No problem, it’s one of the things I love about you. Everything beautiful deserves to be captured.”
His words were kind but they made her falter dearly. “Travis I’ve told you-”
He hushed her and spun her out and back to her. They were so close that all she could see was the brown and gold of his eyes. His brow brushed over hers as he slowly danced them around in place. “Both my parents failed in love but I refuse too.” he murmured in her ear.
“Your mother is marrying my father.” she reminded him but her voice sounded very far away as he spun her out again and then back into his arms drawing her closer then before. Lexi felt her head spinning as his lips touched her jaw line briefly.
“And I know it won’t go well like all the rest. He won’t hurt her like the others though and maybe it’ll be civil unlike the rest.” Travis entertained himself with the prospect of that. His mother had never been known to be a civil person when it came to romance.
Lexi on the other hand didn’t find it as amusing as he did. She pulled back away from him. Their hands still laced together she quit dancing altogether as the music continued in it’s sweet tune. She let go of his hand and crossed her arms. “Not all marriages end. My parents’ didn’t, nor did my grandparents’, or any of my other relatives. I grew up knowing there was love to be discovered in the world. I pity you if you view love as something that doesn’t last.” Her words were harsher than she expected them to be but she had a point to make. Her father’s heart and happiness was something she didn’t take lightly.
Instead of being angry with that temper she knew he had buried under his cool and collected persona he smiled at her for a change of pace. “Pity the fool who has met you and still thinks that way.” he countered and advanced on her. She mirrored his movements backing up until she hit the edge of the outdoor dining table. With ease she still couldn’t fathom he picked her up by the waist and perched her on the edge of the table like an parent would their child. They were both far from children she’d come to realize though with great alarm. She had expected a boy and instead came a man that had startled and surprised her every step of the way so far. She gripped the edge of table as he leaned in closer but careful not to touch her.
She was scared and breathtakingly beautiful, he thought as he caught hold of her scent again. Roses, blossoms, top soil from her digging in the garden today, paints, and the faintest hint of turpentine. What use were the most expensive perfumes in the world when her natural scent was enough to drive his mind crazy?
Travis indulged himself by stroking a hand through her beautiful hair. Hair that had haunted his dreams and tortured him every time he searched for it in a crowd and never found it. How something this ordinary could delight him and render him awestruck was no longer a mystery to him.
Travis brought a lock of it to his lips and kissed it before turning his gaze back to Lexi. Her cheeks were slightly flushed because to her this was embarrassing. Her, a vixen in high school, a child raised to be a die hard romantic, was falling for a boy that made moves casual as glances. The well educated and good girl within her knew better but nothing seems to drill into her head that this wasn’t right.
He leaned in even closer until his lips were only a hairbreadth away from hers before he spoke. “Beauty was your muse, love was your song, you found things to laugh about so easily I do recall. There I sat lost in time, then you were there in a flash by my side. Your fire blazed but did not burn, in my world full of ice I saw you turn, and smile at the fool who had yet to learn to love and be loved without fear being burned.”
Lexi’s breath hitched at the shock that came when his lips touched hers. His cool lip simply brushed over her leaving her to want mo
Sorry I got cut off because of the character limit.
Here’s the rest of it.

more as his lips began to explore her face as they always did. Her cheeks, her jaw, and even her eyelids.
So perfect, the back of her mind mused. To her the world was one big picture. She always saw things in pictures, people, places, and events and at times she thought she’d expect nothing less of her partner. How strange it was though that she’d be moved so easily by his words. This guy that had no patience for detail and hated having his picture taken. He should be the last on her list of people to be attracted too.
His words thrilled her, they touched her deeper than any painting of Da Vinci’s ever had. “Where’d you read that?” she asked in a voice no higher than a whisper. Maybe if she heard the writer’s name her heart would quit pounding like crazy.
His lips grazed over her throat making her heart stumble in her chest. “I wrote that the first night I stayed in this house.” he mumbled against the skin h
Okay this site has officially made me angry.

he mumbled against the skin he was tormenting.
She jolted, the shock being so bad. Travis fisted his hand in her hair so he could tilt her head forward to look at him. Her head had unconsciously lolled back when he was teasing her throat. He smiled with that trademark smirk she was used to like the dark shade of brown his eyes were with the gold ring around his pupils.
“Love isn’t impossible in my mind when I have you in my life.” he said barely above a whisper before taking her lips a second time.
Every single time they kissed it was like a new experience. Each one was different and perfect for the moments they happened in. He slowly deepened it inch by painful inch until she thought she might simply go crazy. She was already insane. They were like fire and ice, water and oil, picture and word and yet this attraction did not feel tragic or fleeting. On the contrary it felt as if it was just beginning.

îî Can you write a story about FINDING A HIDDEN TREASURE that includes 6 of these lines?

As you know by now, this is not homework, merely good,wholesome fun on YA.

1. Hellooooooooo. I am NOT going in there alone !
2. Swindlers who act like kings .
3. The dark of night was swiftly fading.
4. Those lunatics will NOT steal my dream.
5. You’re beginning to annoy me.
6. This is going to be the find of the century,capice? Okay….First, let’s go to McDonald’s.
7. With the snow blinding our path.
8. They’re digital scans, now be quiet.
9. Well…. I leveled with you ninety-eight percent.
10. Now we’re stuck….HAPPY ?!
11. What are you talking about….The map or the _______?
12. Uh oh….. Here come the bad guys.

I asked for advice on my story (I have added to it). Please review and advise!?

The sun, provider of light and warmth, began to sink quickly into the west. Gold, amethyst, and red dully thrown and swirled across the great horizon, a prospect only witnessed as a greater beauty. Night encroached as wind began to whip wildly through the rolling landscape, carrying with it a chill. Clouds choked the darkened skies, stars hidden from onlookers, a storm approached. Lightning flashed and thunder cracked. The earth shook and the wind became violent. An unfortunate fellow emerged from the dark; he clung to his ragged blanket with bone white fingers. A shaggy haired head appeared from the mass of rags that clung to the boy and he strained to find a place of shelter.

He paused a moment and felt the top of his head. His fear was confirmed, rain had begun to fall. Realization crept slowly into the dormant mind, human thought revealed, and a sobering reality. Stumbling in the darkness the young man flung himself to the ground, searching for a break in the rock. Regular flashes lit up the sky, terror streaked with rain became exposed on a bold face. The rain began to fall heavily, he crawled quickly searching desperately, willing an entrance to a burrow he could curl up in. Frantically he kept moving, woolen rags clinging to his soaked skin, he began to fall, tumbling down the hill he fought to climb. He became distraught, but he felt his fall end as a springy mattress of wet grasses smacked his face. Another flash happened above him and something caught his eye.

Springing up from his position, mud and grass covering his face and clothes, he scrambled quickly to what he thought he had seen. Holding out his hands to feel the landscape he prayed that what he saw was true. He smiled to himself amidst the chaos of reality and slipped into the protection of the crevice.

A small peace, serenity from the besieging chaos, ensued for a small, fleeting moment within the cave. Fear never left the recesses of his mind, the young man began to shiver, and he was cold. Quickly he stripped his wet clothes; still it was pitch black and all he could see was the breath before his face. He propped himself against the rocky façade and began trying to calm his racing mind, trying to relax.

He didn’t realize when reality drifted to sleep, but the veil between dreams and the environment eroded and his dreams were filled with stormy nights and chilling reality of fear.

The young man opened his eyes and saw sun pour through the crevice in the wall and the sun was beginning its arduous journey across the heavens. His muscles were stiff, his back hurt, he felt that the frost had crept within his veins while his mind was still in a fog. He shifted his weight his knees and crawled painfully out into the autumn sunshine, moving muscles slightly trying to gain mobility. A sigh of relief was uttered as a crisp new day was beginning. He stood up stretching his stiff muscles in the warmth of the sunshine and his reflection caught his eye in a puddle at his feet.

His hair was a long, tangled mess of brown. Mud hid his tanned, rough skin in and covered him from head to toe and he wore woolen rags as clothing. He was small, mostly from malnutrition, but muscles would soon grow if nourished. Traveling had destroyed his leather bound shoes and worried about his clothing for the oncoming winter. Then in the same puddle, with his brown eyes staring back at him, he gave a full hardy laugh. He was a tramp! He remembered he had lost his cloak in the overnight storm, turning his head he heartlessly looked for his article of clothing, but saw nothing but rolling hills, farmlands, townhouses and something faint in the distance.

Some primal hidden instinct sparked and he felt a new found feeling of excitement. His travels, his journey, he was finally going to find work. The inner workings of his mind began to turn rapidly as he attempted to figure a plan.

Okay here is an explanation of this. It is quite tedious I recognize that, it is more of a stream of consciousness and less about dialogue and more about the introspection and realism. It ends abruptly because that is all I have written tonight. My influences are more gothic and this story will develop into a fictional story. I would like a more analysis of style and if it grabs your attention or is thought provoking. Again I did just write this in the last hour or so and I haven’t been working long.

If you are interested in knowing more I have a basic outline for the progression of the story, not very well thought out but enough to start writing, email if you want to know how it goes.

(I ramble sorry! I want to get everything out in the open!)
Thank you, Rachel! Yeah that always seems to be the problem I have identified myself with. Beginning perfectly is so paramount to a good writing.
Alright I don’t know if you are still checking this. I don’t know how to contact you by sneding an email through yahoo but my aol email adress is Spencer9663@aol.com

yamashita treasure hunting experience…any one?

your treasure site ? maps? hazard of treasure hunting? share your story

yamashita treasure hunting experience…any one?

your treasure site ? maps? hazard of treasure hunting? share your story